Tuesday, November 3, 2009


As many of you know, the last month has been a difficult one for me in the area of "relationships." But I've had a great epiphany relating to this topic. Would you like to hear it? GREAT!

So, Christian culture today speaks loudly to girls about their search for the perfect man of God. Lists seem to be huge. I've been told numerous times to make a list of what I'm looking for in a guy and I know countless numbers of girls who have made them...some have even made more than one. I'm not saying that list-making is wrong. I've never done it mainly because I hate lists..despise them. But lately, I began to think about the possibility of making one. Especially after "Family Relationships" class....have you ever wanted a class on Biblical dating, marriage, and parenting? That's the one! I wrote down all of the qualities that were popping out at me like integrity, humility, respect, purity...etc. Then as I was contemplating making this grand list for this non-existent man of mine, we were assigned 1 Peter 3:1-7 to memorize. The part that pertains to women and wives says this:
"Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."

This really got me. Even though I'm single, respect and purity should characterize my life as well. The part that really stood out though was the end of the passage. I began to ponder...what does a gentle and quiet spirit look like? How would that manifest itself my life? This is something that God considers to be precious. I want to have the character that is precious to God!
So as I pondered the value of a gentle and quiet spirit, I began to think back to "the list". I tried to think of what men I know who live their lives and interact with their wives in a manner that reflects what I've been finding in Scripture. Bob Baldwin. Mike Sullivan. Richard Bargas. Joel Potter....just to name a few. All of these men value the Word and as I see them with their wives, they worship the ground she walks on!!!
Whoa...............RED LIGHT!!!
They worship the ground she walks on. What makes me think I'm even close to deserving a guy like this?! So what makes these women so deserving of these phenomenal men? Maybe it has something to do with these characteristics that I have been finding in the Bible.
So what all these thoughts have finally led me to is this: Maybe right now, while I'm single, I need to spend less time seeking the perfect guy and spend more time becoming the woman that is described in Scripture. Why throw all of my energy into setting a bunch of standards and expectations for a guy when I haven't even set any standards for myself to live up to? I need to be in the Word allowing the Lord to transform me into His image. If I am in the Word and becoming more and more like Christ, then a guy who is truly seeking the Lord just might find me along the way. But I truly should work and endeavor to be deserving of such a fantastic man.

SO....all of that to say..... Grace, it's time to stop seeking and start becoming.


Dave Duron said...

The whole "looking for the right person" vs. "being the right person" conflict. I think it's so challenging how God is constantly telling us that we can never change another person, but rather allow Christ to change us. Plus, He's the only one who can truly change somebody else anyways, and He's always trustworthy. Thanks for the great thoughts Grace! Mucho appreciation

leililan said...

from my life: seeking God and what He wanted in my life is what lead me to my husband. i say, stop looking, work on your relationship with Christ, do what He wants you to do, then He will lead you to your future. always one that points to Him.

Richard Bargas said...

Thanks for this Grace. I really think you are on the right track here. But I think that the "worship the ground she walks on" was a bit over the top : )
Wendy pointed me to this post because of what you said, and now she's out of control!!
Seriously, you are spot on here. Keep growing. We are over here watching from a distance how the Lord is exploding your world and then reassembling it as he wants it to be. A painful blessing. We love you!