I can't believe it! I'm already into my 3rd block of my senior semester here at New Tribes!!! There's lots going on, lots of classes and projects to turn in! I've been working a LOT and keepin' myself busy...hence the fact that I haven't updated this thing in a while.
****I'm sensing that I'll probably ramble from here on....thoughts are floating around in my head and they'll probably spill out. So if you don't read any or all of this post...please watch the video at the end. It kind of sums up all of these thoughts.****
One of the classes we just finished up was on Philippians. There is so much wisdom and treasure that just flows from the words that are written in that book! So much conviction and thought-provoking went on, I can't even begin to describe it! One thing that has really stuck in my head though is the concept of giving up everything for God as I move in the direction of going on the mission field. Am I really willing to give it all up? And why in the world do I think that all of the material and comfortable things I have now are so great that I'd take them over sharing the Word?
You know how sometimes you hear or notice something and then it keeps popping up EVERYWHERE? That's how this has been. Classes...chapel...devotions...conversations...stationary....posters....seriously, you name it, this concept is either there or it'll move my thoughts in that direction.
We had a guy come speak in chapel the other day and he asked the question "When will we finally get to the point where we say 'God, I'll give you this and this...but I can't give up THAT for you..." Yikes...seriously? Yet, I know I struggle with that.
Talking with a friend of mine today, he stated that when he came to America (after growing up as an MK in Thailand) the "American Dream" seemed so alluring. It got to the point where he was looking for something better to do than work in missions. Finally he came to the same response: Really? Seriously? He said something that really got my attention...he said "We indulge ourselves in the "good" things we have here only to find that they don't fulfill instead of throwing ourselves into work that is frightening and considered "bad" but more fulfilling than anything we could ever dream of." That work he spoke of is the work of bringing the Gospel to those who don't have it and have never heard it.
I know I'm wandering a little bit here...but really...the bottom line is that if I'm really wanting to devote the rest of my life to God's service as a missionary, I'm going to have to give up some hard things! Comfort, security, eventually I'll most likely lose the closeness of family, and even my dreams. Ever since I was little, I had a picture in my mind of what I wanted my life to look like when I grew up.... Reality check: Grace...your life is not even close to heading that direction. And I have to ask myself....is that okay? Am I okay with this?
How in the world can I not be okay with it?! It's not going to be easy, I know this. But what aspect of my present or future life can I honestly look at and say "THIS is so important to me that I'll hold onto it and keep the Gospel of the ONE Who gave up everything for me"...?
Our final project in Philippians was to make vidoes/skits based on passages in Philippians that were assigned to our groups. The group I was in didn't upload our video onto youtube or anything, but this is one of the videos that was made. Personal opinion: This was the best video out of all of them. They did a stellar job and it kind of wraps up these jumbled thoughts that are wandering through my head. Talk about conviction....